Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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Your face

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

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If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

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What happens when you roll a quarter down the street in Mexico? It rolls for a small period of time but eventually it falls over and stops rolling because quarters aren't able to roll very far on imperfect surfaces.

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A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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tuna fish dolphins sharks idk

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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