Your Face... It's Beautiful.

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Ask your friend: Will you remember me in a week? Will you remember me in a month? Will you remember me in a year? Knock Knock. Who's there? How did you forget me already?!?

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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I just drank a cola.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, 32!

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? I don't know but it's not the little girl.

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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