Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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can you pass the soap?

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Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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what's wrong on so many levels? wrong wrong wrong wrong

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead baby joke? Dead baby jokes aren't funny.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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A bar walks into a man

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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What is your bill about? Clinton

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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Arrow in the Knee!

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What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops