Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops