Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Kock Who's there Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley is a fictional character in the novel To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Don't cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the black college graduate say to the Jewish high school dropout? Do you want me to also clean your fourth floor executive bathroom, Mr. Bernstein?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

penis?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops