Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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I just drank a cola.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, 32!

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? I don't know but it's not the little girl.

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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Why hasn't little Johnny ever had a clown at his birthday party? Johnny is an underprivileged Hispanic member of the community.

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops