What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Who is it?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats black and red inside? A black guy

thumb_up thumb_down -6

phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats up and also down? your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops