Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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a boy named justin littleton made his own anti-joke......

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops