A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Row, row, row your... Canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats your budget like? a budget.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

thumb_up thumb_down +25

OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops