when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

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Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

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What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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