what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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I've got a boner

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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