A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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56

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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America Votes

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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