What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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acuna

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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