How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

Knock, Knock The door's open

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

WOMENS RIGHTS

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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