What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock, Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops