Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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