What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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(insert antijoke here

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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