i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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34

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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what the hell happened to your face

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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Knock knock

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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