If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

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Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 6's family

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

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What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

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(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

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why was the boy sad? because.

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So theres a man, a horse, and a piglet in a helicopter. Upon noticing this, the pilot jumps out of the plane and the animals go crashing to their doom.

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops