Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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You Mom is so ugly, It makes sense why you always have that look on your face!

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why was the jewish boy afraid of ovens? because he developed an irrational fear of kitchen appliances. he would later, as an adult seek counseling and overcome his fear.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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Robin get in the batmobile!

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Me Neither.

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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Q. Knock Knock A. Whose there? Q. how am i supposed to know why don't you answer it and find out you dumb ass! gosh.... people and their common sense these days!!

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zx

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How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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