Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

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whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Whats more annoying than listening to another arrow in the knee joke? bink2w32.dll is missing from your computer.

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

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Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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The woman says : OMG I am so hung over!! The man next to her has Terrible tourertts turns around and shouts I want my to make them hung over your face, her then moves away and rapes a apple of which he is eating, the woman turns around and dies as she has a brain tumor

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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