Nowadays, aviation is the most secure means of conveyance in the world, but paragliding is not.

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Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? If the man cannot climb down himself, perhaps call the fire department.

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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why did the black guy say he was ridin' dirty? because its been weeks since he last took it to the coin op, he's busy working as an I.T Specialist.

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Whats more annoying than listening to another arrow in the knee joke? bink2w32.dll is missing from your computer.

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Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby?... a dead baby dressed as a clown whats funnier than that?... A pile of dead babies dreesed as clowns Whats funnier than that?... that the baby in the bottom of the pile is alive.

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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