One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

thumb_up thumb_down -59

what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops