Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops