What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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what is not funny? This joke.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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What rhymes with you? You.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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