Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

Your mom is so...wonderful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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