What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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88

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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a Jew had a small nose

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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