A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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