A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Dylan Eichas

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When life gets you down, make a comforter.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Boom.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -5

the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Your mommas so fat that she may die.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops