What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

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What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

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hi.... bonjour... hola... DOOO YOUUUU UNDERSTANDDD MEEE !!!!!!!!!!!

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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