How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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poop.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops