WOMENS RIGHTS

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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