Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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penis

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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(insert antijoke here

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Boom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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