A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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lebron

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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Q.) What did the boy do when he got home? A.) He repeatedly cried due to the large amount of bullying he faced at school. He had constantly tried to contact his parents and teachers for help yet no one would listen. The boy was found dead in his room the next day. Poor kid.

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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