Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

A man walked into a bar and said ow.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

Your mommas so fat that she may die.

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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