What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops