Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

thumb_up thumb_down -108

what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops