What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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