What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops