An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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Invisible Television.

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LIKE THIS!

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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