Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

thumb_up thumb_down -25

a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

thumb_up thumb_down -61

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Emo Girl: Whats Your Favorite song? Regulor Girl: Something Carrie Underwood sing!(: Emo Girl: Are you retarted? Regulor Girl: Well im not the one who loves Emos .-. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honstley, I didnt right this my cousin told me to wriget this... i think its stupied... And Yes, Ima Emo but im not trying to judge people if there emo or not! :D Luv ya! -Angel- <3

thumb_up thumb_down -155

Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops