Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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Sarah Palin

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't make sense Your cute

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Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

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What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Q: What did Micheal Jackson Say to the boys? A: He can't speak because he's dead.

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

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what do you say when you see a winner weaner

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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There once was a man named Joe. Joe had AIDS, and killed all his friends and family The End, now go back to bed, pussy

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Oh

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What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

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Whats plastic and phonie a phone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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