There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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