roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

pubic lice.

wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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