Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

lets see how many dislikes i can get from this...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

thumb_up thumb_down +69

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Invisible Television.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

An irishman walks out of a pub

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops