How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Women's rights.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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