Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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hi, im sober.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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170

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Sarah Palin

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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haha ur single hahahahahhahahahhahaahahhaahaha i am 2

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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Q: What did Micheal Jackson Say to the boys? A: He can't speak because he's dead.

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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