I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Oh

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

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Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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