How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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That other group is a *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** From Jackson Edwards

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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