A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

thumb_up thumb_down -50

rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

thumb_up thumb_down +101

what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +81

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down +79

What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

thumb_up thumb_down +1

they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

thumb_up thumb_down -29

oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops