What's The Difference Between a Chicken and a Human. Well a Chicken Is A Chicken and a Human Is a Human.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

how long has dibey got left like :)

they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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