What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

thumb_up thumb_down -144

What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Arron Glass

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -151

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +20

OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops