Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -203

How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An irishman walks out of a pub

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -36

So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops