How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

haha ur single hahahahahhahahahhahaahahhaahaha i am 2

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

thumb_up thumb_down -38

once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Cole is "good" at soccer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops