Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a door? Various answers are acceptable. The door has hinges, a black guy has legs, etc.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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