How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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