How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

thumb_up thumb_down +158

A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

thumb_up thumb_down +100

A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

thumb_up thumb_down -2

POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops