An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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GIVE

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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LIKE THIS!

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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Women's rights.

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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why do holocasut jokes make us laugh? i dont know you tell me

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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your moms fat. she's ugly too.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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