whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

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how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

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A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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