A blind man walks into the door of a bar

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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