- Anti Joke

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

your mommy so gehto shes black

Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

my bubbles!

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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