What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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make me a sandwich!

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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