Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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Jesus

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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There is a running race, both black and white people are running in this race! Half way through there is an avalanche and every black person running was killed! Who won the race??? Society... :D

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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womens sports...

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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